You Can’t…But God Can

By: Amy Marcle

Now that I am safely home, I feel I can write about the
struggle I have with the fear of flying. 
As a person who feels the need to constantly be in control of every
situation, the thought of being in an aircraft, thirty thousand feet in the
sky, with someone else manning the controls terrifies me.  I do not like to bein a vehicle, whether it’s a plane, a car, a trolley, a boat, anything, if I am not the one steering the way.  The reasons for this fear are
two-fold.  One, I know that I can stop
the car if the truck ahead of me suddenly slams on the brakes, but I’m not so
sure others can.  I know that I check my
mirrors and cameras before switching lanes on the interstate, but I’m not so
sure everyone else does.  If I am
driving, I know that I’m in control. 
But, if someone else is at the wheel, I have to sit back and grip the
“oh crap” handle until we reach our destination.  And, by the time I have arrived, I am so
frazzled and exhausted, I need a nap.

The second reasblame, Whiled to be in control is that if
something goes wrong under my direction, I only have myself to blame,  While accidents happen, I know myself well
enough to know that if something caused me pain or harm to someone I care for,
I would hate the responsible party to the point where I would make them feel
even worse about an accident that may or may not have been their fault.  So, to prevent such an occurrence, I prefer
to just be in control.  That way, I only
have myself to blame. 

There are several problems with living by a “must be in
control” strategy.  No matter the amount
of strategic planning I use to obtain the most control of my life, there are
some things I just cannot control…no matter how hard I try.  No amount of worry, planning, or overthinking
will stop things from occurring.  I
cannot control the weather, no matter how many times I view the forecast, or
how long I stare at the radar, or if I put on a helmet and hide in the
basement.  If a storm of nature is
coming, well, it’s coming, and I cannot stop it.   But
God can.

As I mentioned in the opening paragraph, my fear of flying
sometimes overwhelms me.  It doesn’t
matter how many times I fly each year, in the weeks leading up to my trip, I
always review the safest airlines, the safest airports, and the safest planes.  I watch the news to see if any of the
airlines are in lawsuits.  I often think
about the pilots and hope that they are mentally stable and not on the verge of
a breakdown contemplating whether or not they want to take all their passengers
down with them.  Once I arrive at the
airport, I check out the TSA agents as much as they check out me.  Are they on the up and up?  Did they let someone pass security check
because they were offered a bribe?  Why
did they little the little old lady and her husband skip the line?  Remember, I trust nobody. 

Once I arrive at my gate, I sit, and people watch.  I try to guess who the quiet ones on my
flight will be and who may cause trouble. 
Who looks depressed or angry?  Who
looks scared?  And even though I know
it’s wrong…who looks like they will try to hijack the plane?  If it can go wrong on a plane, I have already
thought about it and prepared for the action I will take in the event it
actually happens.  To prove my point,
recently, I had a plan that if someone tried to overtake the plane, I would
grab my insulin pen out of my bag and inject them with enough insulin to make
them pass out.  I’m telling you, my mind
is not right, but I AM prepared.

When we got ready to take our recent trip, the war in Israel
had just begun.  And while my destination
was nowhere near Israel, I began worrying about copycat terrorists daring to
overtake the planes much like the events of September 11.  I listened to the news in anticipation of
hearing travel advisories for flights in our own country, which never came,
thankfully.  I texted a friend of mine
who is retired from the military and asked him what he thought our chances were
of having an attack again in the United States. 
He replied that we were probably cautious to expect one at some
point.  Then quickly added….” But not on
an airplane.” 

While his answer was meant to reassure me of my safety, it
did not at all satisfy me.  I had worked
up a worst-case possible scenario in my mind and needed it to be talked
down.  My common sense had flown out the
window leading me to forget that we have a capable military and police presence
in our country that would take down terrorist in a heartbeat if they attempted
another 9/11.  But I also could not shake
the feeling of a bad guy slipping through the cracks and winding up on my
plane.  I reached out to another person.

When the war broke out in Israel, two of my friends were on
a Holy Land tour in the area.  They had
posted photos of the beautiful landscapes, historical Biblical places, and the
local traditions that made their trip so interesting.  After the attack, everyone back home began
posting prayer requests for these friends and their travel companions to be
able to vacate the country and return home safely as the uncertainties of war
loomed over the area.  I messaged both of
them during this time to let them know I was praying for their safe return.  They instantly replied thanking me for my
prayers and stating that I ever need anything to call them, no matter
what.  Here they were, in a foreign country,
unsure of how they were going to get home and where.

One day prior to my own trip, I decided to reach out to Doug
and ask him his thoughts on flying during this tumultuous time in the
world.  This is how that conversation
went:

Me: “Hey! We are supposed to fly tomorrow and to be honest
I’m a little nervous with all the commotion in the world.  Did you feel safe flying even with all you
had seen on your trip?

Doug “Gotta be honest with you; I would NOT be afraid to
fly.  Not to the Middle East or any
country.  Are you going out of the
country?  Or in US.  Praying for you!

Me: “Lol. (I feel stupid now) I’m just going to Florida. I
just know I can’t fight off a terrorist on a plane.”

Doug.  You can’t.  But GOD can! 
Plus, call me if you EVER need anything.

I can’t.  But God
can.  What a statement!  I had left God completely out of my plan.  I mean, I had definitely prayed for safe travel,
but I had not asked Him to simply take control of the situation.  I had not factored in my biggest safety plan
of all and that was that God would be there on that plane whether something
went awry or not.  He can take down evil,
when I can’t.  I may not always be able
to protect myself in every situation, but God can. 

The idea of “You can’t, but God can” can easily be adapted
for recovery.  In the deepest, darkest
days of my addiction, I would have days were I thought “I can’t do this.”  But I failed to remember, but “God CAN.”  It’s true that we have to want to recover,
but with God we are completely capable of fighting off the desires of addiction
and focusing on the things that really matter in life.  We can’t pull ourselves out of addiction on
our own, but with God, we can. 

If you are feeling alone in your recovery, maybe it is
because you are trying too hard by yourself. 
Recovery is not a journey you can take on your own.  You need a support team, a supportive family,
and you need God.  Having faith in God
will provide you with hope, when you have none. 
Faith in God will provide you with love when you feel unworthy.  Faith in God will be your greatest weapon
against the darkness and deceit of addiction. 
You can’t beat addiction on your own, but God can.

If you feel like you have hit a stumbling block in your
recovery, or do not know where to start, reach out to us and let us support you
with the experiences we have found worked for us.  We can only be better by making others feel
better.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. “Philippians
4:13.