Why Churches Need Recovering Addicts

By: Amy Marcle

We have all seen the signs at the roadside of churches.  Often, they display sayings such as “Church Is A Hospital for the Sinner” or “Sinners Welcomed” or “Treat Everyone With Kindness.”  While it is certain that many churches want to paint the picture that they welcome everyone regardless of their past, the same feeling is not felt after entering the doors.  I have attended churches of various sizes before, during, and after my addictive lifestyle.  One thing they all had in common, they love each other, but they are scared of people who are not living perfect lives.  Oh, the irony, because many of those in leadership roles in these congregations were also not living perfect lives. 

People in church, though they will never admit it out loud, form opinions of those who battled addiction.  Those opinions might as well be put on the sign outside because trust me, we feel them.  When I was in rehab, I had people tell me that I was going to hell if I did not “get it together.”  While what they said may have been true, the approach was lacking for someone who should have been in the soul saving business.  In this blog, I want to give you twelve reasons that churches need recovering addicts in their congregations.  These twelve reasons will coincide with the Twelve Step Program used by the Alcoholic Anonymous Meetings.  Though these steps were originally written to aide individuals in overcoming alcohol addiction, they can be used for any addiction.  If you wish to apply these to your life, simply insert your addiction in place of alcohol.

Step 1: “We admit that we are powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable.”

In order for recovery to be effective, addicts must first admit they have a problem.  They must admit they have lost control over this problem and that they no longer are able to control their addictions.  When I think of this step and how it applies to our relationship to God, we have to admit that we have sin in our life that controls us.  We have to admit that we need guidance to point us in the right direction to overcome our sins and our addictions.  People in recovery know how important step 1 is and could be excellent mentors to others who have lost control of situations in their own lives.

Step 2:    “We have come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to our sanity.”

While Christians have usually made a public confession professing their faith, they do not always live that way.  I have attended churches were the preacher acted as if he was higher than God and seemed to have forgotten that God is the greatest Power to help us overcome good and evil. Without believing in a higher power, your chances of recovery diminish greatly simply because you have no one to cast your cares and anxieties on as you recover. 

Step 3: “We have made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.”

In the Christian faith, repentance and baptism are the acts of turning away from sin and devoting their lives to Christ.  Baptism is the act of faith that washes sins away.  But not everyone remains faithful to their decision to turn their lives over to God, often causing them to fall back into the ways of sin.  Recovering addicts understand that making a decision to turn our lives away from addiction and to turn toward God instead is a lifelong commitment.   Commitment in any relationship is necessary for success.  People in recovery can be an asset in communicating the necessity of dedication and commitment not only to recovery but to God.

Step 4: “We have made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”

If we were to attend church services and someone asked you to make an honest list about your morals, your actions, your thoughts, and your behaviors, would you be able to make an honest list?  Would you leave out your occasional sins?  Would you forget to mention the way you gossip about others?  Would you write down that you are attracted to someone other than your spouse?  Would you admit you tell lies or steal from your company?  I doubt it.  But, in the alcoholics anonymous program, addicts are strongly encouraged to take a moral inventory of themselves.  By doing this, individuals are capable of identifying their downfalls, recognizing their struggles, and defining how these affect their addiction or their sobriety.  How can we recover if we live a double life?  The same is true with Christianity.  Are we really able to classify ourselves as Christians as long as we willingly participate in sinful activities.  By admitting to ourselves our moral downfalls, we are better equipped to move on from them. 

Step 5: “We have admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”

Confession of sins is necessary to be forgiven of those sins.  How can we be forgiven if we are not willing to confess our sins.  This is a hard step.  For me, it is even harder in church to confess our sins.  My religious beliefs are that if a sin is a public sin, it must be confessed in public.  If it is a private sin, then it can be handled between myself and God in a private nature.   I would say that failing to confess our sins is going to be the downfall for most Christians.  We often believe that “nobody will find out” our sins and we forget that God knows all.  Addicts going through recovery have already admitted their wrongdoing in group settings, publicly if you will.  They know the shame that can be felt by openly admitting their sins.  The difference is people in an AA meeting will never cast judgement on you.  They are like you.  This is where church folks can learn a lesson from addicts.  We have to have compassion for those who confess their sins.  I have been to church services where a person will go to the front of the church and ask for forgiveness only to be secretly talked about after the service.  “Wonder what they did this time?”  “I bet they won’t stay changed long.”  These statements are coming from Christians who are supposed to be uplifting others.  Recovering addicts can teach us a thing or two about compassion on the sinner because they know how important compassion is in recovery.

 Step 6: “We are entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.”

When an addict ultimately decides to choose a life of freedom over a life of addiction, they must ask God to remove all the addictive behaviors from their lifestyle.  The same should be with Christians when they ask God to remove sin.  However, we as Christians tend to want to hold on to our favorite sins.  Addicts understand that you can’t be sober and still throw back shots with your co-workers during happy hour.  Addicts realize that if you want to stay clean, you can’t keep heroin and needles in your apartment even if they are out of sight.  You have to take inventory and do a spring cleaning of your life, both spiritually and physically.  Christians often feel like they can hold onto “small” sins that really do not hurt anybody.  But ultimately sin hurts everyone.  The church needs people who are able to accept they are ready to let God remove these traits that cause people to sin.  Addicts understand how to humbly ask God for that blessing.

Step 7: “We are willing to humbly ask God to remove our shortcomings.”

Many of us today fail to even realize we have shortcomings, yet alone ask God to remove them.   The following are some of the shortcomings I faced during my recovery:  lack of patience, failure to accept constructive criticism, fear of failure, eagerness to please others.   Shortcomings like these also affect Christians today.  How many people do you know that attend church who find it easy to criticize the lives of others yet fail to accept criticism about their own decisions?  This is a shortcoming.  How many people in the church do you know who refuse to spread their faith in God to others by teaching strangers simply because they fear rejection?  This is a shortcoming.  How many people do you go to church with who lie about their faith in God to simply impress people who do not share the same belief?  This is a shortcoming.  Addicts understand that as long as you have shortcomings that cause you to stumble in your sobriety, you will never fully be a recovered addict.  The same is true with Christianity.  Failing to remove the shortcomings in our lives squashes the opportunities we have to be better Christians.

Step 8: “We will make a list of all persons we have harmed, and become willing to make amends to them all.

I cannot begin to accurately describe to you the toll addiction has on relationships.  I can write an entire blog on the hurt and worry I caused my family, friends, and acquaintances during my addiction.  Our addictions do not only cause harm to the addict, they cause harm to others.  Sometimes the harm comes in the form of hurtful things we say to others.  Sometimes it is much worse.  Physical violence is often an unfortunate side effect of addictive behavior.  Thankfully, Jason and I never experienced the physical side, but the words I often said when he was offering help to me were also gut wrenching.  Breaking the law often comes with the territory of drug addictions.  All of these circumstances warrant a desire to offer apologies to those we may have harmed.  I feel that sometimes Christians say things and act in ways that are hurtful to others, even though it may not be intended.  When I was in Texas for rehab, a man from the church we were attending visited my husband and told him that he was going to hell if he did not join the church.   I found it odd that he waited until I was out of town to visit Jason.  He waited until the time he knew Jason was vulnerable to say these things to him.  He knew Jason was working and taking care of our daughter all by himself during my time in Texas.  He waited, like a lion lurking after his prey, and pounced.  That is not the way Christians should approach others.  Though his intentions may have been to lead Jason to Christ, his actions could have easily driven him further away. Maybe he did not realize how he hurt Jason, but if he did, Jason’s name was never put on a list to make amends with.   Christians fail to see the hurt they can cause others as well.

Step 9: “We will make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”

 I’m sorry.  Two very simple words to pronounce, but two very difficult words to say.  Why is I’m sorry so hard to say?  First, people do not like to admit they are wrong or that their behavior has hurt someone else.  Apologizing means admitting we are not perfect.  It forces us to humble ourselves and ask forgiveness for things we knew better than to do in the first place.  How can we recover mentally though if we carry around the baggage of hurt, we have caused to others?  How can we recover from sins if we do not confess and ask for forgiveness?  Addicts appreciate how humbling the experience of asking for forgiveness can be. If people in the church have a hard time asking for forgiveness, what better example can we find than a recovering addict who has already successfully made amends with the people they have harmed. 

Step 10;  “We will continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong, promptly admit it.

Recovering addicts and Christians have one similarity in that they are a work in progress.  An addict who admits he/she is an addict and begins to seek a way to overcome their addiction does not simply become recovered overnight.  It’s a work in progress.  Christian living is a constant work in progress.  Just because we become a Christian does not mean the work is done.  We have to continue to look to ourselves for ways to improve our relationship with God, with others, and within ourselves.  And, on the days we stumble, we must be quick to admit in order to rectify the situation without causing further damage.  Recovery is not a 12-week program, or six month program, it is a lifetime program.  Christianity is also a lifelong commitment to God that we have to work at daily in order to maintain.

Step 11; “We have sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understand Him, praying only for knowledge of His will and for us and the power to carry that out.”

I feel that this step is where many of us who consider ourselves as Christians fall short.  How many of us pray for God to grant our wishes rather than asking for His will to be done?  How many times do we question God’s choices or decisions?  The human side of us finds it hard to understand God’s will, but in order to live a life entirely dedicated to God, we must allow Him to carry out His will without us questioning it.  We must pray for knowledge of His word, rather than changing His word to fit our needs.  We must accept His plan rather than doubting his love and concern for us every time we do not get our way.  We must accept His will and do our part to carry it out as it pertains to us.

Step 12: “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we try to carry this message to alcoholics (addicts) and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Not only do recovering addicts work diligently to maintain their own sobriety, they also strive to carry the message of the 12 steps to others.  In church organizations, how often do we run the other way when asked about our religious beliefs?  How many of us can honestly sit down and talk to strangers about our faith?  Recovering addicts understand the importance of sharing the good news of sobriety.  Christians may profess their desire to lead others to Christ, but how hard do we actually work to do so? 

Alcoholics Anonymous has a system in place that creates accountability between recovering addicts.  Those who participate have the option to find a sponsor to whom they can reach out if they find themselves struggling.  This accountability partnership works simply because everyone can have someone they can call, day or night, to talk them through tough situations.  Who is your accountability partner at church?  Do you have one?  Does your church encourage you to reach out to other people to help them in their times of crises? 

This blog is not meant to bash any religious affiliation or organization.  I simply wanted to point out that the next time a recovering addict comes to your church services, instead of turning away from them or casting judgement on them, try listening to them.  You may be surprised just how much you can learn.