The Shadow Around Me

By: Jason Marcle

About a month or so ago, a random book was mailed to me at my home. I have a good idea where the book came from but, I can’t prove it.  The book is titled “The Shadow Work Journal” by NowDrops LLC. I am still learning about this entire process as it is very new to me. It seems to be a very deep and thorough process. I have obtained a lot of my information from this book.

To my understanding, everyone has a shadow. A “dark side” if you will. Something we tend to hide or reject from others. The shadow responds when you are unconsciously triggered by social interactions, situations of anxiety, relationships, and times of sadness. Your shadow has learned from painful events from your past, or from times you have been told to “stop” or “no.”  An example could look like a time as a child when you were told to stop crying. Maybe you were told to stop laughing hysterically. Basically, your shadow reacts to emotions you have tucked away your entire life so that you fit in or blend in with the world around you. We all learn what good and bad is at an early age. We all have different views on that though. One person may have been told they are eating too much if they clean their plate, whereas another may have been rewarded with ice cream for cleaning their plate. Everyone is different.

Shadow work digs down deep to find what you have tucked away. It will help you understand why you respond to others or certain situations the way you do. It brings awareness to your repressed feelings so that you may catch yourself when reacting in a negative way. It will help you notice negative patterns and help you stop them in their tracks. It is also supposed to help build your self-confidence. Something I lack a lot of.

Carl Jung said it best when he said, “Unless you learn to face your own shadows, you will continue to see them in others, because the world outside of you is only a reflection of the world inside of you.”  He also stated, “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”

I have a lot of negative thoughts on a daily basis that I would love to get rid of. I am hoping that “shadow work” will help me once I complete the lengthy process. I suggest anyone interested in shadow work purchase The Shadow-Work Journal and start the adventure.

Back to my negative thoughts. This week I have pondered if this website is really helping anyone. Did I waste all this money building this website to help others? Is the website even good? Are the blogs worth reading? I ask all these questions because we have yet to receive any real feedback from people outside our normal circle. These questions come from my shadow. I do not feel like I have ever been successful at anything. Some people can turn whatever they touch into gold, I feel like I turn everything into coal. I have not delved into the shadow work enough to find out why I feel like this.

I have never really felt accepted in society. I do not know why I feel that way, but I bet I will find out when I am done with this book. I feel like I have always been the “third wheel” in life. I cannot explain why I feel this way, but I feel it even more after losing both of my parents. I feel like I hold back my wife and daughter from living their best life sometimes. I feel like a dark cloud follows me everywhere I go. I do not never feel good enough or qualified enough when it comes to a job. I do not feel like I am good enough to ever serve in a leadership position. I feel like no matter what I do, it is not good enough. Nobody is telling me that, I cannot remember anyone in my family growing up making me feel this way. I feel like working this book will help me with this as well.

Six weeks ago, we started attending church at a new congregation. We really like it, but I am a little worried about it today. Since we have been there, the song minister has left, the children’s minister has put their notice in, and now the preacher has decided that he does not want to preach full time. There does not seem to be any problems in the congregation causing anyone to leave. In reality, those leaving are moving up to bigger congregations. They are improving their situations. The preacher is still going to stay at the congregation and do more one on one studies with people.

My mind quickly asks why everyone leaves when I decide to worship there. Why does this seem to happen almost everywhere we go? I know it is not me because most of the people in the congregation doesn’t even know me. That is my shadow coming out and trying to convince me that for some reason, I am the cause of everyone leaving. Which is not the case.

I recommend any book written by Michael Ivanov. He is my favorite author at this point. I love what Michael Ivanov said in the end of Chapter 3 of his book “The Mount of Olives.”

 “I will listen diligently to every work my mind tells me, and I will interrupt it. I will judge it with the seriousness I would the most heinous crime. Every Thought that is destructive and speaks against what I seek – Will be cast out as if it were a disease of my mind.

  I must silence any evil that comes from my mind as the universe is listening. It is listening and waiting to act with the same force that moves mountains and with the same winds which dash waves onto the rocks. The same breath which taught the sun to burn with violence and the moon to cool the night is waiting for my voice and, until now, I have only robbed myself with my words.

  When my mind speaks death, I will speak life and I will out-yell the words spoken against me until the voice in my mind becomes an unstoppable force, now speaking for me.

  Soon the two voices will speak in unison and two will become one again. I will speak life because words spoken set my life in motion.” 

There is a lot to think about in that passage. It kind of sounds like shadow work to me. I love where he says the universe is always listening. We need to be careful on what we let the universe hear us say or think. If you tell yourself something long enough, you will start to believe it. You will “speak” it into existence. If I tell myself, I am not good enough for long enough guess what? I will believe it. If I tell myself that I am not qualified enough to take the leap into a new future, I will not never apply for better positions with my current place of employment or anywhere else. 

I can sit around and say, ‘I wish I had done this or that,” or I can actually do something about it and chase my dreams. We all have to become more mindful about what our mind is telling us. We have to shut down the shadow, shut down the evil so that we do not speak those things into existence. Instead, we have to teach that shadow how to speak positively instead. Remember the universe is always listening.

I need to stop robbing myself of the happiness that God intended for me. I am my own worst enemy. I am my own thief. I have robbed myself of many things over the years because I was trying to fit in with society and do what is acceptable to everyone else. If you have not put it together yet, the “universe” is God. He is always listening. God knows what we are all capable of even if we don’t. We have to speak positive thoughts into our universe so that the universe will respond to us with positivity.

In closing, meditate on these verses. See how you respond to them.

Luke 6:45 says: “If your heart and mind are filled with negative thinking, you most likely will voice what is in your heart and mind. A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasures of his heart brings forth that which is evil; for out of the abundance of the heart he speaks.”

Romans 12:2 says: “And do not be conformed to this world; but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is good, acceptable and the perfect will of God.”

 Proverbs 23:7 says: “If you give place to negative thoughts, you will eventually become a negative person. For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.”