Listening

By: Jason Marcle

In today’s world it is hard to just listen.  The world around us is very noisy. When I enter a store, I hear music playing on the overhead speakers, I hear other people talking on their phones, I hear the TVs in the back of the store all playing. I hear all the surround sound and Bluetooth speakers being tested by customers. It can be too much at one time and sometimes it makes me nervous.  It makes it really hard to listen and to concentrate.

That isn’t the type of listening I am talking about though.  Outside of the noisy world we live in, who are you listening to?  Are you listening to your elder family members stories about how they have become successful or about how they have endured life so long?  Do you listen to your inner self when it is trying to speak positive thoughts into your head?  Are you listening to the negative thoughts that the world continues to throw at us from every angle?

I have read stories about the older generation growing up with the expectation to not ever interrupt someone that is older than yourself. Even if they are just one year older, you never interrupt them.  When I first attended recovery meetings, I was told to shut up and listen. There was nothing that I could say at this point in my recovery that could help others.  I didn’t know anything about the program or the process.  The only way I could learn about the process and program was to listen to the “Old Timers”.  I have learned a lot at this point in my recovery and I have a very long way to go.  There will always be someone that has more experience than myself. There will always be someone whom I can learn something from as long as I listen.

When I started having thoughts about starting a blog for mental health, I started doing some research.  The first thing I found was that only 5% of bloggers will become successful. What are the chances that our blog will become successful? 5%.  What are the chances of our blogs failing? 95%.  Right at the beginning the odds are stacked strongly against us. I can choose to listen to this statistic and give up before I ever begin or, I can do more research and read where recent studies says that blogging works for nearly 80% of bloggers.  77% of bloggers felt they got results. 67% of bloggers who post daily say that they are successful. I now have found two different views that I can support.  I can be negative and quit before I begin, or I can go into this with a positive attitude and hope that we can help others through our blog.  Our blog isn’t about making money, it is about helping people like us fight through tough situations.

That negative thought is a temptation. The world will make us believe that we can’t succeed if we let it. The world will throw our doubts and insecurities in our faces just to see if we will give up easily on our dreams.  I am currently reading a book titled “The Cabin at the end of Train” by Michael V. Ivanov. It has this great quote in it that really made me think.  It says in chapter four, “You know, when you spend too much time watching other people’s success, you forget to steer your own.”

That is some really good stuff there.  We need to realize that you don’t have to have a safe full of money to be successful.  I envy those who are living out their dreams. I envy those who find a way to make a living without giving up their dreams.  I believe that a lot of us go to work to make the rich man richer. We get a decent paycheck, we are able to provide for our family, but are you doing something that you enjoy or are you working for a place that controls when you can take a vacation, a place that controls when you can go home, a place that controls when you get to see your family?  I love it when I find someone that loves their job. Someone living out their dream. A couple of weeks ago I went to the dentist for my six-month check-up. My dentist informed me that he had been retired for a few years, so I asked him why he was still working. He said that he was living his dream. He said that while others play golf after they retire, he wanted to still be a dentist on his own time.  He said that there was nothing he would rather be doing than helping others through dentistry. He now chooses his hours, when and where he wants to work. This is living the dream in my opinion. He isn’t doing it for money, he is doing it because he loves it. That is what I call successful.

I say all this to say that I often give up too easily. I give up sometimes before I ever really begin. If this blog never becomes successful, it will still be successful in my eyes because most of the things I write about, I write to myself. I am not the most positive person. I don’t feel like I will ever be able to live out my dream. I have a real fear of never being able to retire. I also have this fear that if I get to retire, that I will only get to enjoy retirement for a very short time before becoming sick or disabled to where I can’t enjoy retirement.

My mother retired in October 2020, and she passed away in May 2022.  She spent her first 7 months taking care of my sick father before his passing. Then she grieved for one year, got covid and passed away. This is where I get my fear from.  My parents never got to enjoy retirement together. They worked their entire lives and never got to enjoy retirement together.  It is really easy for me to look at the negative. That is what Satan wants us to do because if we keep our minds set on everything negative, we will slowly lose faith in what matters to us.

I need to listen more to the positive inner self. The one that tells me that I can be successful. The voice that tells me I am going to be ok, the voice that tells me that we are doing a good thing starting up this blog.  I hope one day to live out my dream and do something that makes me happy instead of making the rich man richer.

Terry used to tell me all the time how “Life is a series of adjustments” and “we get to choose what adjustments we want to make.”   I sometimes push away due to being afraid of failure. I don’t want to fail. In the past, I numbed the pain inside with alcohol until I quickly learned that I was just creating more problems for myself and those around me.  Terry was a very wise man. I learned a lot from him. Terry never got to enjoy retirement, but he definitely enjoyed life. He was the kind of man that had fun no matter what he was doing. Everything excited him. Terry was living his dream. He built an arcade in his home. It was full of arcade games. He even had one of those large sit-down car racing arcade game. Terry didn’t care what others thought of him, he only cared about happiness.

 1 Corinthians 10:13 ESV says: No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.  God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”

Which side are you going to listen to?  What adjustments are you going to make? You can keep living a life based on negativity, or you can choose to live a life and chase your dreams.  When you feel that negative thought pass through your mind, or that anxious feeling overwhelms you, stop right then and pray to your Higher Power.  Stay on guard for negative thoughts to enter your mind as Satan and the world does not like to see people succeed.  Our Higher Power sends us spiritual clues when something isn’t right, Listen to them. Again, I write to myself when I write blogs. This is the kind of stuff I need to hear from my friends and family. This is the kind of lessons I need to hear in church.  I need to learn how to overcome negativity and look for the positive. Negativity just adds to the stress and worry. 

Psalm 51:10-13 ESV says:

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit. Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will return to you.