Daily Affirmations in Recovery

By: Amy Marcle

I cannot speak for everyone that has ever had an addiction, but as for me, it was hard to say positive things about myself both during addiction and during my early days of recovery. I had spent my entire addiction period beating myself up by telling myself I wasn’t good enough, or thin enough, or strong enough.  No matter how thin I got I kept telling myself I was ugly and overweight. If I ate a normal meal, I would tell myself I was a loser. If I did not throw up immediately following a meal, I would tell myself I was weak. It was easy for me to look in the mirror and say things like “wow, you suck.”  Or “nobody is ever going to take you serious in life if you don’t get skinnier.”  I seriously said things to myself I would not say to my worst enemy.  And here I was…saying them to the face in the mirror. I was doing a lot of talking but was not actively listening to the words I was convincing myself to believe. We all know that communication and emotional intelligence in relationships is vital, but we fail to understand the importance of healthy communication to ourselves.

In May of 2004, I travelled to Buffalo Gap, Texas to a treatment facility named Shades of Hope Treatment Center. The center was suitable for all addictive behaviors, but I was there for eating disorders. The setting is a very relaxed place that offers tranquil places for group meetings, private reflection, and mind clearing activities. I appreciated the fact that they offered a holistic approach to mental health rather than just pumping you full of medicines to keep you at ease.   During our meet and greet session, we were asked to stand up and give our introductions…our name, our hometown, what we did for a living, and our addiction.  I had never been forced to say that I had an eating disorder.  I mean, obviously I had admitted my issue, but never been forced to say “Hi, I’m Amy and I’m a bulimic/anorexic.”   When it was my turn, I gave the necessary introductory information and then stopped short of admitting my addiction.  When I managed to push the words out of my mouth, I felt so stupid saying it.  How in the world did I end up in a treatment facility for eating disorders?  Saying it out loud made it real for the first time.

I have mentioned in other blogs that I have a hard time telling people I am a Type I Diabetic primarily due to the stigma surrounding the disease.  When I hear people talking about others with diabetes, regardless of the type they have, I hear it followed with terms like “bad diabetic.”  And we all know that diabetes in itself is a disease focused on food and weight management, so I never wanted people to believe my Type I diabetes was a result of me stuffing candy bars in my face and laying on the couch with no exercise.   The administrator and staff already had my health file, so they knew that I was a diabetic.  And they made me announce that also without adding to it.  I couldn’t say what I had been used to saying which was “I’m diabetic.  I have been since I was a teenager.  My pancreas quit working and it WAS NOT because I ate too much sugar.”  I could simply say “I’m diabetic.”  I learned at Shades that I did not have to give an explanation to the world about my diabetes.  If people wanted to judge me, that was on them, not on me.

Meals at Shades of Hope were eaten together as a group.  I assume this was for several reasons.  As for me, it was a way to learn to eat in front of people again with no guilt.  They also monitored us to make sure we ate the meals that were prepared for us.  No skipping.  No vomiting afterwards.  The one part of mealtime I remember the most was the affirmations we had to stand up and say about ourselves before each meal.  Now instead of just saying, “Hi, I am Amy and I’m an anorexic, bulimic, diabetic” I had to add something positive about myself.  If you have any kind of understanding about mental health and eating disorders, then you already know that those who find themselves battling such disorders have a dang near impossible time finding anything positive to say about themselves.  After all, during our addiction we had convinced ourselves of everything but the positive.  The only thing I could really say about myself at that time was that I was a good mother despite my addiction.  They quickly made me drop the “despite my addiction” and simply say…” I’m a good mother.”  Not ending a positive thought with a negative or offhanded comment was difficult for me. I was good at encouraging others but failed miserably at encouraging myself.

By the end of my stay at Shades, my mind felt clearer than it had in a long time.  I was able to say the affirmations without hesitation and also was starting to believe them myself.  I want to share with you a list of affirmations I used and continue to use during my recovery period.

“I am good enough.”
“I deserve to eat.”

“Eating makes me strong, not weak.”

“You are worthy of feeling healthy.”
“You have made mistakes, but that does not mean you are a mistake.”

“Food is fuel, not an enemy.”

“You look happy when you are healthy.”

“Being an addict does not mean I am a bad person.  It means I have a problem I need to work through.”

“My diabetes will not define who I am.”

“God made you and he does not make mistakes.”

I suppose I could go on and even find some that would fit any addiction, but I want to challenge you, the reader, to find your own affirmations that fit you.  You don’t even have to be suffering from addiction to say nice things about yourself.  I always felt that if I said nice things about myself, it would make me appear as if I was bragging or thinking highly of myself when I should not.  The exact opposite is true.  Promoting mental well-being means being able to find the good in yourself and develop those habits of affirming the belief that you are indeed worthy.

My daughter recently told me she wished she looked different.  She talked about how she wished certain parts of her body were built differently.  I stopped her and told her that when she looks in the mirror to practice positive statements rather than negative.  I explained to her that if you are going to convince yourself of something about yourself, it needs to radiate positivity.  We believe what we tell ourselves, why not tell ourselves good things and work on believing that.  It’s just as easy to teach yourself to love yourself as it is to hate things about yourself.  It takes just as much time to say something positive as it does something negative.  You would be surprised how beneficial affirmations will become during your personal mental health journey.